LOVE, FEAR AND THE TIME MACHINE

  • Lost (Why Should I Be Frightened By a Hat?)

    I dropped down again
    From a star
    On a desert island
    Full of skies

    And I saw a boy
    Looking up
    Dreaming of his future
    From my past

    Soon I drew an ocean
    Tamed the sun
    And I plunged my feet
    Into the sand

    Bit by bit I came
    To understand
    How I miss this freedom
    And the swoosh of waves

    Come
    Follow me
    We’ll go down where the river flows
    One day
    Just you and I
    We’ll find the bridge to the neverland

    I was frightened of
    A thousand hats
    Bouncing off the answers
    Losing pride

    Had a fear of failure
    And true love
    But I don’t regret that
    I am what I lost

    Come
    Follow me
    We’ll go down where the river flows
    One day
    Just you and I
    We’ll find the bridge to the neverland

  • Under the Pillow

    Hey you,
    Somewhere in the mirror
    What happened today with your face
    Your eyes
    Sank in their hollows
    And the ocean of your disgrace

    It’s no shame
    You haven’t done what you were supposed to
    And did what you didn’t want to
    1-UP!
    The amount of self-deception
    Slowly starts killing you
    Inside

    You’re faced
    With a new decision
    Between the dawn and the day
    Melting
    Between the life you got used to
    And something you don’t understand

    I know
    It demands an effort
    And the pills to get rid of this pain
    Not a chance
    I’m sorry, Birdy
    I’m your favourite voice inside your head

    Hey you,
    Rise and shine!
    You must learn to stand your ground
    How long can you hold your breath under the pillow?

    You kept yourself to yourself
    Day by day
    Growing delusions in the blue flowerpots

    Your filter bubble
    On the touchscreen display
    Has recommended to you
    What you should want

    While you’ve been watching too much daytime TV
    Dreaming on demand
    Your ”from tomorrow” just became ”yesterday”
    Made you crawl again
    Under the bed covers

    Hey you,
    Rise and shine!
    You must learn to stand your ground
    How long can you hold your breath under the pillow?
    How long can you hold your breath under the pillow?
    How long can you hold your breath under the pillow?

  • #Addicted

    I feel I have to share
    What I do
    Or where I am
    There’s an urge within
    I can’t ignore

    Hashtag me and go
    I’m addicted to your love
    I’m addicted to my aimless drive

    There’s a mask upon my face
    I can’t live without
    So you won’t recognize me
    When I am in the crowd
    I lost my calmness in the world
    Where everything is searchable

    Dreaming inside out
    Feeling inside out

    I don’t have my place
    I’m in here and everywhere
    Just another day in hd frame

    So hashtag me and go
    Cause I’m addicted to your love
    I’m afraid
    You’re the only friend I’ve got

    There’s a mask upon my face
    I can’t live without
    So you won’t recognize me
    When I am in the crowd
    I lost my calmness in the world
    Where everything is searchable

    Dreaming inside out
    Feeling inside out
    Dreaming inside out
    Feeling inside out

    Hashtag me and go
    Cause I’m addicted to your love

    I lost my calmness in the world
    Where everything is searchable

    Dreaming inside out
    Feeling inside out
    Dreaming inside out
    Feeling inside out

  • Caterpillar and the Barbed Wire

    I want to fly
    I want to feel my life
    Still belongs to me
    No matter what
    I want to fly
    I want to flap my wings
    And cause a hurricane in your heart

    Butterflies
    Better lies than hate
    But I can’t pretend anymore
    I’m tired of suppressing all of my needs
    I want to belong to the cloudless sky
    Not to the shaded ground

    But it’s so hard to admit
    That I lived without your light
    Trying not to believe that I need it more
    Now the bleeding won’t stop
    For I struggled through the barbed wire
    Trying not to believe that I need your love
    Trying not to believe in love

    I wanted to turn into a butterfly But I couldn’t trust you enough

    I was tired of suppressing all of my needs I wanted to belong to the cloudless sky Not to the shaded ground

    But it’s so hard to admit
    That I lived without your light
    Trying not to believe that I need it more
    Now the bleeding won’t stop
    For I struggled through the barbed wire
    Trying not to believe that I need your love
    Trying not to believe in love

    But it got me now

  • Saturate Me

    iCrowd patterns
    Beliefs
    Guided trips
    Search for hints
    Copy/paste
    Brain turned off

    In my invisible ”oh” life
    I don’t want to feel
    Like I’m no one anymore

    Lack of self confidence
    Trapped inside sweet wrappers cage
    Sky is blue - so I’ve been told

    In my invisible ”oh” life
    I don’t want to feel
    Like I’m no one anymore

  • Afloat

    Dream on, my pain
    My scar
    My blame
    You’ve been a part of me
    Unless and until

    Dreamt by the night
    Under your skin
    I run through the wind
    Unless and until

    Dream on, my pain
    My scar
    My thorn
    You’ve been a part of me
    Let me stay afloat

  • Discard Your Fear

    Once
    In the darkness
    Of bad memories
    You stepped into a trap
    But the spring-loaded bar
    Didn’t break your neck
    And you remained there
    Waiting for the better time

    Life
    With your passivity
    In the face of choices
    Forced you to turn back
    Settle with your lies
    But the stubborn glass
    Doesn’t want to talk to you
    Waiting for the better time
    Chairbound and bedridden heart

    Discard your fear of the unknown
    Be here and now
    Just find yourself in peace
    Try to free your mind
    Wake up
    Get unstuck
    Let it go
    Send your shame to nevermore

    Your past
    Your distorted thoughts
    Closed you in the box
    And cluttered up your head
    Hewn from happiness
    In your fabletown
    You're still afraid of
    Starting something new this life

    Discard your fear of the unknown
    Be here and now
    Just find yourself in peace
    Try to free your mind
    Wake up
    Get unstuck
    Let it go
    Send your shame to nevermore

    Discard your fear of the unknown
    Be here and now
    Just find yourself in peace
    Try to free your mind
    Wake up
    Get unstuck
    Let it go
    Send your shame to nevermore
    Let it go
    Scare away your fear

    No more
    Fear of new life
    Fear of days of the unknown
    Fear of new life
    Fear of days of the unknown
    Fear of new life
    Fear of days of the unknown
    Fear of new life

    No more fear of love

  • Towards the Blue Horizon

    Let me tell you a story
    About you and me in those days
    How much passion and joy
    We shared
    How often we turned back time

    Let me tell you a story
    About you and me in those days
    When we felt as if we
    could change
    The whole world with just one wave

    As we ran through the silence
    At the speed of sound
    Towards the blue horizon
    We could open minds

    Let me tell you a story
    About you and me in those days
    We just lived our lives
    Swam out
    To the middle of the lake

    As we ran through the silence
    At the speed of sound
    Towards the blue horizon
    We could open skies

    ***

    Where are you now my friend?
    I miss those days
    I hope they take good care
    Of you there
    And you can still play the guitar
    And sing your songs

    I just miss those days
    And miss you so
    Wish I could be strong
    When darkness comes

  • Time Travellers

    One day we'll find our way
    Straying from the road
    We thought we could go
    Until we would fade.

    Traveling across the fallen earth
    And the foreign lands
    We survived
    To believe that this is not the end
    This is not the time

    Moving unseen beyond
    The shadows
    Waiting for
    The birth of a star we can follow

    One day we'll find our time
    Come to realize
    That our history
    Came full circle

    Traveling across all the dried up seas
    And the foreign lands
    We survived
    To believe that this is not the end
    This is not the time

    We crane our necks for youth
    We know we’ll make it through
    And we can go back to the forest

    Let’s go back to the world
    That was 30 years ago
    And let’s believe this is our time

  • Found (The Unexpected Flaw of Searching)

    Cut off from the dream
    Where the sky meets water
    Beneath forgotten stars
    Feeling like a child
    I embrace what I came for
    And what I’ve overcome

    Oooh, it’s a lovely life
    You have gone so far
    Don’t give it up
    Oooh, it’s a lovely life
    You gotta go with
    What you think is right

    Delve into myself
    With my truth and devotion
    I start another flow
    Gliding up and down
    In my yearning for daylight
    I find you in my soul

    Oooh, it’s a lovely life
    Sun emerges from behind the clouds
    Oooh, it’s a lovely life
    You gotta go with
    What you think is right

    Cut off from the dream
    Where the sky meets water
    Beneath forgotten stars
    I feel like a child
    Found in waking life

SHRINE OF NEW GENERATION SLAVES

  • New Generation Slave

    Into this world
    I came
    Filled with fear
    Crying all the time
    I guess my birth
    Left a great scar
    On my heart and mind

    Now I hand-pick cotton
    And struggle to sing
    "I am happy and I do what I like"
    But my voice breaks
    And I start to hate
    My singing
    And simply everyone

    Mama told me
    Be good
    Work hard
    And love Mr. God
    Every Sunday
    I lie
    Trying to realize why

    Ain't nothing more to say
    Your Honor
    Don't look at me like that
    The truth is
    I am a free man
    But I can't enjoy my life

    ***
    I came to a standstill
    With lies and hopes inside my head
    Always seemed too late to turn
    And too soon to understand

    No, I don’t have a stomach ache
    It's just my face...

    I got stuck
    I ran aground
    I got used to spewing bile
    I wonder whether all those years
    Hadn't been a waste of time

    So how am I doing?
    Oh, I CAN complain
    Smoke too many cigarettes
    But I don't care...

  • The Depth of Self-Delusion

    I could be foreign forever
    To your otherland
    I could be foreign forevermore
    To your promiseland
    One life was great
    But another…
    No, I don’t want to live on the edge
    I won’t follow you
    I found my own
    I will stay

    I could be foreign forever
    To your hastenland
    I could be foreign forevermore
    To your neverland
    One little brick then another
    And I will build that wall anyway
    You can find me there
    Rested and calm
    Without mask
    This is where I will stay

    Look around where we are
    Who we are
    What we always want
    Twenty four
    Seven
    Three sixty five
    Sometimes little more
    I was chasing your shadow
    Not knowing
    I’d become your slave

    I could be foreign forever
    To your otherland
    I could be foreign forevermore
    To your promiseland
    One life was great
    But another…
    No, I don’t want to live on the edge
    I won’t follow you
    I found my own
    I will stay
    I could stay forevermore

    I've said a farewell
    To never-ending smiles
    I did not look good in red
    From my place I can finally see
    How much of this shade I called myself
    Was me
    And what was left behind

  • Celebrity Touch

    I can’t afford to be silent
    I can’t afford to lose my stand
    What matters is to be in view
    I am seen therefore I am
    I can satisfy my hunger
    I can satisfy my thirst
    What about the feeling of importance
    Now I’ve got my chance

    This is just what I need
    To be in everyone’s eyes
    To be hard-wired to all brains
    And control all their minds

    In the center of attention
    TV
    Glossy magazines
    My private life is public
    I sell everything
    Days are getting shorter
    They’ll forget about me soon
    So I jump on the bandwagon
    With no taboos

    This is just what I need
    To be in everyone’s eyes
    To be hard-wired to all brains
    And control all their minds

    But what if we start to talk
    Not only say out loud
    What if we sift the babble
    From what really counts
    What if we disappear
    Go deeply underground
    What if we hide away
    From being stupefied

    You and I
    Thousand eyes

  • We Got Used To Us

    When I scroll back through our recent days
    I try to understand
    How we could forget
    We made a promise to one another
    That nothing would ever break what we had
    Now we never talk when we fall apart
    We never talk when we fall apart
    We pretend we’re ok
    Surrounding ourselves with one-way friendships
    And so-called friends

    I know we got used to new us
    And I don’t want to be there
    I don’t want to be there
    Where we are
    I know we got used to new life
    And I don’t want to be there
    No, I don’t want to be there
    Where we are

    Silence fallen between
    All the doors are locked
    All the words unsaid
    And we’re still afraid of time
    Started to keep ourselves
    At a distance that we could control
    Not too close
    Not too far
    Now we never talk when we fall apart
    We just never talk when we fall apart
    We pretend we’re ok
    By filling up our inner space
    With little hates
    And so-called love

    I know we got used to new us
    And I don’t want to be there
    I don’t want to be there
    Where we are
    I know we got used to new life
    And I don’t want to be there
    No, I don’t want to be there
    Where we are

    So walk away with me

  • Feel Like Falling

    Day outside grows black
    I lie faceup in my shell
    Squeeze my eyes shut
    And feel like falling into blank space

    Had allowed that life to drift
    For I’ve chosen a different trail
    When light fades
    I feel like falling into blank space

    So you realized
    Ingested real life
    Grew up in the time of
    Pushing through the crowds
    So you realized
    Chose unreal life
    Settled in the mobile
    Handy pocket size

    Wanted to be your light
    Illuminate your smiles
    Wanted to be your cure
    Bridge between self and us
    Wanted to be your prayer
    Wipe the tears from your eyes
    But I turned my back

    Could have been a tree of dawn
    Rooted deeply in the ground
    Bearing fruits
    Far away from falling into blank space

    But I took refuge from myself
    In the crowded solitude
    Now I dash
    And feel like falling into blank space

    Wanted to be your light
    Illuminate your smiles
    Wanted to be your cure
    Bridge between self and us
    Wanted to be your prayer
    Wipe the tears from your eyes
    But I turned my back
    Got lost inside

  • Deprived (Irretrievably Lost Imagination)

    I live surrounded by cherished memories
    I have a weakness for collecting them
    Alphabetize
    As far as I recall my childish rituals
    Icons of that world
    Always filled my shelves and heart

    Now I shelter from the rain
    Hole up in my cage
    You don’t have to think too much today
    They filled in for your brain

    Curled up
    Deprived
    Curled up
    Deprived
    I shut away

    In a world of synonyms
    And handwritten notes
    My own puppet performances
    Endless bedtime stories
    I could touch the moon
    And switch off the sun
    I could have my dreams
    And dream about better times

    Now I shelter from the rain
    Hole up in my cage
    You don’t have to think too much today
    They filled in for your brain

    Curled up
    Deprived
    Curled up
    Deprived
    I shut away
    Please don’t call my name

  • Escalator Shrine

    We are escalator walkers
    In the brand new temple
    Came to reshape identities
    Shed our skins
    Be reborn
    And feel the same
    That no one here is real

    We are moving standees
    In the shrine of choices
    Incarcerated between floors of
    Hope and disappointment
    We feel the same
    That no one here is real
    We feel the same
    That nothing here is still

    We are stairway drifters
    Made of cyber paper
    Google boys and wiki girls
    Children of the self care

    We come to pray every single training day
    Looking for a chance to survive
    Buying reduced price illusions
    Floating into another light
    Melting into another lonely crowd

    We feel the same
    That no one here is real
    We feel the same
    That nothing here is still

    ***
    Used to have our love
    And now
    Disposable needs
    Used to have our souls
    And now
    Refined new skins

    Take
    Use
    Throw Away
    Forget

    ***
    Dragging our feet
    Tired and deceived
    Slowly moving on
    Bracing shaky legs
    Against all those wasted years
    We roll the boulders of sins
    Up a hill of new days

    In the arms of the setting sun
    Our burdens cast shadows over fiery ground
    Catching final rays
    We try to reach the journey’s end
    Before the sun will die

    We sense we’re almost there
    But the night comes too soon
    And we crawl in the dark
    Not ready to face up
    To unknowing lies
    We ache to go back

    But we can’t stop
    So we walk ahead

  • Coda

    Night outside grows white
    I lie faceup in my shell
    Open my eyes
    Don’t feel like falling into blank space

    Had allowed that life to drift
    For I’ve chosen a different trail
    When darkness fades
    Don’t feel like falling into blank space

    Want to be your light
    Illuminate your smiles
    Want to be your cure
    Bridge between self and us
    Want to be your prayer
    Wipe the tears from your eyes
    When the night returns

    I won't collapse

    I'm set to rise

MEMORIES IN MY HEAD

  • Goodbye Sweet Innocence

    I’m covered in dust
    Lying next to you
    Waiting for my judgement day
    Feel the warmth of the hearth
    Your kiss of destiny
    Cure for pain and misery

    When something ends
    Something else begins
    We are moving on

    Life happened to us
    We are not the same
    But we’ve managed to survive
    Stuck at the crossroads of time
    Between future and past
    Diverse worlds under the same sky

    And when something ends
    Something else begins
    So let me silently fade away
    Forget us in the flame

    I know it hurts
    The sky has fallen down
    I know it hurts
    Flowers have died back
    I know it hurts
    But look at the sun
    It’s about to rise again

    Cause when something ends
    Something else begins
    So let me silently fade away
    Forget us in the flame

  • Living In The Past

    I need a place where I can belong
    This alternate world is not my home
    I suffocate here

    The hollow laughs of the hollow men
    Embarrassing Carnival Parade
    Can’t stand more lights!

    I don’t care if those times are over
    I’m not going to live like everyone
    I don’t care if those times are over
    My future is living in the past

    I feel like the touchstone
    In a river of wounded hearts
    What happened to our days
    They used to be so full of life
    In a different way

    Used to be so easy
    Used to be so good between us
    Words had a different meaning
    The simple things were significant

    I don’t care if those times are over
    I’m not going to live like everyone
    I don’t care if those times are over
    My future is living in the past

    Even clowns don’t scare me anymore

  • Forgotten Land

    Look at this field my son
    Deserted, empty place
    Where the dead silence feeds on lost whispers
    There was a Kingdom here
    A City full of life
    Songs of its praise were being sung by the mountains
    Oh, listen to them now

    People felt strong and powerful
    Proud of their wealth
    All of them believed they were kings of the whole world
    They started to take more
    And crossed the borderlines
    Called themselves gods above everything and everyone
    Oh, listen to them now

    Faster and faster
    Higher and higher
    Great temples of gold grew taller and glittered in the sun
    Gods, too sure of themselves
    Never lost their pride
    Even when the altars and monuments started to collapse

    Oh, how quickly they died
    Oh, how quickly they turned into
    The dust of the forgotten land

    Listen intently
    Souls are crying
    This is the song of the forgotten land

ANNO DOMINI HIGH DEFINITION

  • Hyperactive

    It’s just another day of my life
    In the high res next gen wonderland
    I curse the sun
    Getting out of bed
    I hope my sell-by date
    Didn’t expire yesterday

    The torture porn on the red roy disc
    A sweet kiss of liquid modernity
    We have no time for your mistakes
    Dial
    Search
    Accept

    "Here, you have to run as fast as you can to stay in the same place."

    You’re too blurry my friend
    You’re too slow
    You’re too predictable
    Too below
    This is all I can hear in my mind
    When I try to believe
    I’ll stand the pace of this run

    Breathe in
    Breathe out

    It’s just another day of my life
    Dial
    Search
    Accept

  • Driven to Destruction

    I don’t know where to begin
    Feel a cleaving in my mind
    I can’t get my act together
    Buzz in my head is too loud
    I know something’s wrong with me
    It’s starting to burn out my soul
    But I feel so weird in here
    When you just sit, listen and nod

    All my life
    I’ve been trying to deny and deceive myself

    Sense of Insecurity
    Restlessness
    The turning out
    Hatred for my inner chaos
    And the color of your couch
    I’ve just had this trouble all my life
    Of getting out what is inside

    Now I run
    But cannot hide

    No matter how much I do for them
    No matter how much I do for myself
    No matter which way I look at it
    Fulfillment passes me by

    Distracted inner self
    On the brink of chaos
    Lost its way

    Impatient inner self
    On the brink of chaos
    Lost its way

    Distracted inner self
    I’m tuning out

    Impatient inner self
    I’m spacing out

    Distracted inner self
    On the brink of chaos
    Lost its way

  • Egoist Hedonist

    I. Different?

    Once in the middle of the crowd
    I stopped
    Suddenly I felt so good
    Not being on the move
    But became an obstruction
    In your way
    And I was surprised
    How fast you could unite
    Against me

    When you forced me to the ground
    And tied my hands
    Certain I couldn’t disturb
    Anymore

    I saw the sadness in your eyes
    Your fear
    And the most secret desire:
    “Escape from here”...

    In pursuit of uniqueness
    And individuality
    We must be unlike anyone else
    To survive
    But in the mass of different runners
    Different lies
    We can’t make time to realize
    How the same we are

    II. Hedonist Party

    So let me live without your pain
    Just let me live without your pain
    Because I want to feel so...

    It’s not right
    It’s not fair
    When I am forced to live your life

    It’s not right
    It’s not fair
    When I am forced to live your life

    It’s not right

    Just let me live without your pain
    Just let me live without your pain
    Just let me live without your pain
    Just let me live without your pain
    Just let me live without

    III. Straw Man Dance

    Congrats
    This time you’re a borderline pass
    Here’s your reward
    Now smile
    After all
    You conform to us
    Drag on
    Forget yourself in the final dance

    You already know the steps

  • Left Out

    Huddled in the corner
    Disillusioned
    My lifeless stare is fixed
    On your silhouettes
    You’re disregarding me
    Passing me by
    Like I’m not even here
    Maybe I’m not
    Maybe I’m somewhere else

    I used to be one of you
    With the same spark in my eyes
    And now I don’t belong to this place
    It’s a matter of merciless time
    I wholly vanish

    The candle guttered out
    The beauty elapsed
    Could’ve been so wonderful

    ***

    One day we could’ve met
    And believed
    We might live that way
    Far away from the din
    Envious looks
    And chase for the prize
    We would have remained ourselves
    Without killing our feelings
    Slowly
    Day by day

    One day we could’ve won
    Without taking away
    Someone else’s pride
    We would have become strong
    Walking through our life side by side

    We could’ve missed another day
    Not knowing how to talk
    Where to go
    We could’ve missed another night
    Only... For what?

    The dream went away
    And you came
    With your dark hair loose
    Ruthless cold reality
    Oh, how I hate your truth
    Don’t turn your back this time
    Just look at my eyes
    I won’t break down
    I’m going to fight

  • Hybrid Times

    Come to me now
    I will host you
    I’m the alchemist of our times
    I know exactly what you need
    You’ve climbed so high
    You‘ve gone so far
    So you deserve something special

    Come to me now
    I will cure your soul
    I’m the savior of our times
    I know exactly what it needs
    You’ve let yourself go
    You’ve felt so down
    So my hi-tech salvation is just for you

    Obsession
    Obsession
    Obsession

    To be the best
    The most beautiful
    And above everyone
    Not allow oneself to be left behind
    Know what is what and what is out
    Aim for excellence
    And perfection you can only dream about

    Before my fame evaporates
    I must be at the top
    So I control my body
    Mental state
    Unable to slow down

    Before the final dusk appears
    I must do more than this
    It’s the only way to make it through
    In these hyperactive times
    It’s my obsession!
    Obsession...
    Obsession...
    Obsession...

    Doggedly
    At any cost
    Obstinately
    More and more
    Can’t allow myself to stop
    The ice broke
    I’ll never give up
    Again...
    Again...
    Again...

    ***

    Hi, it has been a while since last time
    I was certain I could live without
    All those private talks I couldn’t stand
    But now
    The truth is
    You’re the best friend I have...

RAPID EYE MOVEMENT

  • Beyond The Eyelids

    We are none of us…

    If I still believed in me
    I would lie
    If I had another chance I would try
    If I lost my dreams I would blame myself again
    If I were myself I would be someone else

    If I didn’t want to feel
    I would stay
    If I were myself I would be someone else

    Cause I can
    See the truth in the photograph
    And with all that’s mine
    I need to look back inside

    And this day
    New life raced through my mind
    So with all that’s mine
    I need to look back inside

  • Rainbow Box

    Medication Time
    My favorite part
    Hello Rainbow Box
    Need you to survive

    White is for my health
    Blue for happiness
    Thanks to Red I live
    With a shade of smile on my face

    Alpha waves appeared
    I’ve crossed a line
    Sea of memories
    Feel I’m going down

    Achromatic day
    Got choked by colored pills
    I thought that I could
    But the icy water closed over me

    You know
    Want to feel alive
    Need you more
    Anytime

    You know
    Want to feel alive
    Need you more
    Anytime

  • 02 Panic Room

    Used to be my Panic Room
    The other side of me
    Where I slept and woke by turns
    And nothing seemed real

    I was feeding on your life
    Peering through the hole
    And it scared me out
    Someday
    You would knock on my door

    Sweet shelter of mine
    I’m freezing without
    Sweet shelter of mine
    I’m dying without

    Cover up my twisted thoughts
    Shattered all around
    Muffled sounds
    Recurring dreams
    Melatonin smile

    Used to be my 302
    The other side of light
    Trap of my own
    That helped me deal
    With what I lost inside

    Sweet shelter of mine
    I’m freezing without
    Sweet shelter of mine
    I’m dying without
    Sweet shelter of mine

    ***

    I’ve tried to make self-portraits before
    But they always turn out so contrived
    I’ve spent too much time
    Correcting light and shade
    Hiding wrinkles
    Blurring scars

    I’ve tried to make self-portraits before
    Through my eyes
    Just see myself
    Now I know
    I’m not in denial
    That I need someone else
    To see me

  • Schizophrenic Prayer

    So afraid of rejection
    Hide inside ourselves
    Acting like strangers to avoid the pain

    We collect our phobias
    Our sicknesses
    Feel so good only when we can complain

    In your arms
    Feels like a better us
    In your arms

    Dancing around the fire
    Getting drunk with the night
    Nobody is ever who they seem to be

    Hypnos give us your hand
    We so tire of this life
    Need to rest and finally disappear

    In your arms
    Feels like a better us
    In your arms

  • Parasomnia

    Lying here on the floor
    Starting to come around
    What you did Mr. Hyde
    What you got me into this time

    There’s blood on my hands
    Emptiness in my mind
    I don’t remember my name
    Don’t recall who I am

    What’s wrong with me now
    I’m shying from the light
    I start to realize
    Feel I’m falling down
    Every inch of my skin
    Feel the pain I saw
    The self – I was running away from – just back!

    Lost the light of day
    Lost my picture of you
    This nightmare I was afraid of
    Just becoming the truth

    Oh no
    What have I done
    Can’t just put it all behind me
    Can’t afford to lose my mind

    Oh no
    What have I done
    You don’t know how much I need to
    Find a way to bring you back

    Lying here on the floor
    Starting to come around
    What you did Mr. Hyde
    What you got me into this time

    Drugged from sleep
    In front of the mirror
    Shrugging off the darkest fear
    Keep asking myself the same question
    When did I turn to this side of me
    When did I turn to this side

    I need to find a way
    To bring you back again…

  • Through The Other Side

    So welcome to the No Man’s Land
    Where you can finally face yourself
    Fear of feeling something real
    Is your friend now
    There’s no need to run

    So welcome to the No Man’s Land
    Where nothing is as it seems
    Mysteries hidden from you
    Six feet under
    And six feet above

    And to feel your heart this way
    Before it gets too late

    The moon began to split in half
    And the darkness could be touched
    Blindfolded
    You’re trying to find a way
    To the bottom of your soul

    But I can see all your scars
    That you wish you could hide
    And I won’t let you remember
    What it was like
    When you were here before

    And to hear your voice again
    And to feel your touch this way
    Before it gets too late

  • Embryonic

    In a mood like this
    Don’t want to pull away from you
    Don’t want to hurt you
    Shutting you out
    Or pushing you away
    In the mood like this
    I want someplace that is just mine
    And nobody else’s
    Just mine

    Complete indifference
    TV life instead of talk
    We’re drifting apart
    Lipreading
    And so distant now
    I miss what we had
    I miss someplace that was just mine
    And nobody else’s
    Just mine

    Place for me to hide
    Inside of me

    For you
    I will be
    For you
    I will escape again
    Wish to see in your eyes
    That you want us back

    That there’s hope for us

  • Cybernetic Pillow

    Last time I made you up
    You looked so bright
    I was about to believe in angels

    Searching my lucid dream
    Came up against
    Pictures of your imagination

    Feel the pain…

    I’m looking for you now
    Somewhere far-off in my mind
    I wish you told me…everything
    There’s no way I can get around that

    But if this is only a dream
    Does it follow
    One day must we wake up
    But if this is only a dream
    I can just…

    I feel no pain…

  • Ultimate Trip

    Even if I had my life to live
    Over again
    Even if I had my life to live
    Over again
    I would keep coming back to the same place
    Waiting on the shore for me to return

    I’m nourished by
    Your day’s residues
    Seeing through the veil
    Unclose your mind

    I’m the reflection of
    All your waking lives
    Narcoleptic sins
    Unclose your mind

    In the depth of me
    Can control your life
    With your shell around
    Unclose your mind

    I’m your amber light
    Way of passing time
    Movement of your eye
    Unclose your mind

    I’m your better life
    Hidden desire
    Never Neverland
    Unclose your mind

    We could be so good
    Broken looking-glass
    So much left unsaid
    Fearless on top… Fearless on top…
    Fearland at heart… Fearland at heart… Fearland at heart…

    And now you will be my soul mate
    I’m going to make you up again…
    It’s ok now, but…
    I don’t know how long it needs to last Sooner or later
    I will need you to come and get me out of here
    Sooner or later
    I will need you to come and get me
    Sooner or later
    I will need you

    Sooner or later

    Closed inside
    I have my life back

    Trapped inside
    I give my life back

SECOND LIFE SYNDROME

  • After

    I can’t take anymore
    I can’t breathe
    I’m sick of this goddamn darkness,
    Sick of sadness and tears I throw it all up every single day
    Together with last night’s dinner

    I have lost myself completely
    I have convinced myself I am someone else

    For God’s sake,
    I need to be real
    I need touch
    I need… people?

    I have to turn my life around…

    But… I will still be myself, won’t I…?

  • Volte-Face

    I have spent all my previous life
    Waiting for something else to start
    Now I see that I have felt so numb
    To everything that passed me by

    Need to go land on my own two feet
    Need to change my life this way
    Need to free my mind of memories
    Watch them how they screw my brain

    The time that has come
    Convinced what I feel inside
    In darkness I float
    How far is the light?

    Inside – fearland
    Don’t want you to know
    Outside – fearless
    I do want you to watch
    Do you mind?

    Would you step aside
    Make way for me
    Can’t you see I’m dead set on doing this

    Enough of dreamless nights
    Enough of sleepless nights
    I’m the way I am
    Get out of my sight
    DO YOU MIND?

    You can put me in the lion’s cage
    You can take my soul
    Give a second name
    But I don’t intend to stop my fight
    And I’m not afraid
    NOT AFRAID

  • Conceiving You

    I’ve been watching you
    Not waiting for the right moment to make the first move
    Do you want to know
    Why I keep avoiding your eyes
    And why I’m running away?
    It’s crazy, I know

    I’ve been conceiving you for too long

    Or maybe I’m destined to be alone?
    Or maybe there’s someone who will understand
    That I’m not able to share my world?
    I’m still running away
    It’s crazy, I know

    I’ve been conceiving you for too long
    If only I could change all things around

    Still conceiving you all along…

    I’ve been conceiving you for too long
    If only I could change all things around
    I’ve been conceiving you for too long
    I’ve grown used to that

    Still conceiving you all along…

  • Second Life Syndrome

    Part One – From hand to mouth

    From day to day
    From hand to mouth
    We’re turning around
    Vicious ritual

    Getting used to it all
    Falling down again
    We’re waiting for
    The decrees of providence

    I don’t want to waste
    Any more of my life
    Live from day to day
    Live from hand to mouth

    Facing the light
    I brush aside your plans
    I’m going to have
    It all my own way

    And when that all shattered I felt I’d broken my fall
    Couldn’t pretend that I felt strong about us anymore
    Without your help I finally started to live my own life
    I just want you to know this time

    Part Two – Secret Exhibition

    I just want to feel your sigh on my neck
    Want to feel your breath
    Feel your need to stay
    You don’t know my name
    Don’t know my face
    Only thoughts I share in my secret place

    Secret exhibition
    Cure for loneliness
    I’ve ground to a halt
    There’s no turning back
    You know there are things I just can’t forget
    You’ve helped me so much
    To learn to be detached

    But when that all shattered I felt I’d broken my fall
    Couldn’t pretend that I felt strong about us anymore
    Without that help I finally started to live my own life
    And I know I don’t need you now

    Secret exhibition
    Cure for loneliness
    Life is much too short to be whiled away with tears
    Secret exhibition
    Cure for loneliness
    I erase you now
    I don’t need you now
    I erase you now with all of my past

    Part Three – Vicious Ritual (instrumental)

  • Artificial Smile

    Hi my friend
    Shake my hand
    Tell your lie
    With your artificial smile
    Don’t be mad
    I just want to help you
    To say these words out loud

    I don’t like you cause they like you
    I hate you cause they love you
    I wish you ill cause they wish you well
    I’m so happy when they f you

    Strike a blow
    For my fall
    Crush me down
    And just say these words out loud

    I don’t like you cause they like you
    I hate you cause they love you
    I wish you ill cause they wish you well
    I’m so happy when they f you

    And this is what we do
    And this is who we are
    Why don’t you want to stop
    You always see my life up against your life

    I don’t like you cause they like you
    I hate you cause they love you
    I wish you ill cause they wish you well
    I’m so happy when they f you

    Tell me your lie!!!

  • I Turned You Down

    I turned you down so hastily
    And it’s tearing me apart
    In my heart of hearts I’m screaming
    In my heart of hearts I cry
    And it’s cold
    So cold

    I turned you down
    Oh, I turned you down so thoughtlessly
    And it’s tearing me apart
    In my heart of hearts I’m screaming
    In my heart of hearts I cry
    How I wish you told me that

    I wish you’d told me that before
    I wish you’d told me that before
    I wish you’d told me that before

    I turned you down

  • Dance With The Shadow

    Pull myself together – holding on
    Standing at the point of no return
    Keeping on the right side of my heart
    And the moment of truth is falling on me now

    I don’t care if what I want
    Is written in my eyes
    You can think of me what you feel
    I don’t really mind
    How about laughing at my habits
    At my needs
    I’m afraid I’ll stay unmoved
    Know I have to be

    Before you come and tell me who I am
    Before you try to make me someone else
    Step out of your line, out of line
    Step out of your line

    I don’t care if what I want
    Is written in my eyes
    You can think of me what you feel
    I don’t really mind
    How about spitting venom in my face again
    I’m afraid I’ll stay unmoved
    You just waste your breath

    Before you come and tell me who I am
    Before you try to make me someone else
    Step out of your line
    Step out of line

    Shall we dance my friend?

    Join in the shadow dance
    Join in the shadow dance
    Join in the shadow dance
    Join in the shadow dance

    I’m standing on the edge, about to fall
    In the middle of the point of no return
    Trying to forget those days I failed to act
    I’m not going to back out
    I’ve come too far

    I can almost see the light
    Feel its warmth
    And touch the moment I was waiting for so long
    I carried all before me
    Now the die is cast
    With open arms I’m standing out against my past

  • Before

    I’ve become resistant to myself
    To my weaknesses and pain
    I’ve become the one who wants to live
    and just feel alive again

    I’ve changed myself

    I’ve become addicted to being strong
    Started out my second life
    And the remnants of your tears and smiles
    Shift deleted from my mind

    Without knowing how it hurts…
    I feel safe

    Without knowing how it hurts…
    I feel safe

    Is this
    What I
    Really
    Wanted?

VOICES IN MY HEAD

  • Us

    There's a place where I feel you
    And I know you mean more to me
    Still waiting
    Still holding time

    There's a place where I feel you
    And I know I mean more to you
    Still waiting
    Still holding time

  • Acronym Love

    This is harder then I thought it would be
    Being there in my prozac dreams
    Saw your beauty and I kept in mind
    Imagine your smell and touch
    Imagine all of us

    I'm sure we want to find our place
    We're alone inside - that'll never change

    GD & R time
    FITB
    FWIW
    FUBAR
    ICOCBW
    ICOCBB

    I'm sure we want to find our place
    We're alone inside - that'll never change

    This is harder then I thought it would be
    I'm still here in my prozac dreams
    Seeing your beauty
    Keeping all in mind
    No chance to survive
    My Love
    Goodbye

  • Dna ts. Rednum or F. Raf

    Follow my name
    Follow my sin
    Wearing my mask
    Cover my fear
    All of my blame
    All in my place
    Wearing my mask
    Cover my shame

    We're so far from understand
    We're so far from "we can take"

  • The Time I Was Daydreaming

    Sky above my head
    Open mind
    And I try to think
    Think of all these words
    Should have said
    Didn't want to escape
    From this dream
    Where I want to be

    And the thing that I feel
    You'll never know
    I am really afraid of telling the truth
    And the thing that I feel
    You'll never know
    I am really afraid of losing you

    Wish you knew how much
    I've been wanting to talk to you
    Still carry me
    Nothing's changed
    Sky above my head
    For the first time
    Since I lost your smile

    And the thing that I feel
    You'll never know
    I am really afraid of telling the truth
    And the thing that I feel
    You'll never know
    I am really afraid of losing you
    Still carry me...

  • Stuck Between

    I'm stuck between myself and me
    Pretty sure at this time
    The more I see the less I feel
    But I don't want it to stop

    Read my fortune
    Now I can
    Know you forever will be there
    I'm arising
    I will stay for you
    And I know I will
    CARE

    Please tell me why I still recall
    Know it has to be good
    It wouldn't be so hard if I
    Were not so frightened for you

    Read my fortune
    Now I can
    Know you forever will be there
    I'm arising
    I will stay for you
    And I know I will

  • I Believe (Live)

    I learn to understand
    Getting harder to pretend is ok with me

    In this moment I believe
    And I want it so much
    In spite of everything

    You make me so real
    I don't have to shut myself in this cage of me
    I see what I haven't seen
    I wanna share my place to hide
    My place to feel
    With You

    In this moment I believe
    And I want it so much
    In spite of everything

    I learn to understand
    If only I was worth waiting for...

  • Loose Heart (Live)

    Raise me up
    Don't let me fall
    Cause I don't get myself
    I feel like I felt before
    But can't find my way

    All those feelings went away
    I may not be what you think I am
    Think we ought to find ourselves
    Think we ought to find ourselves
    Again...

    Raise me up
    Don't let me fall
    Cause it's getting so hard
    I feel like I felt before
    Maybe I only try?

    All those feelings went away
    I may not be what you think I am
    Think we ought to find ourselves
    Think we ought to find ourselves again
    All those questions never asked
    All those days are coming back to me now
    Dreams that can't be realised
    All those nights are coming back to me now
    And I know there're coming back to you

    Raise me up
    Raise me up, don't let me fall

  • Out Of Myself (Live)

    /he/

    I don't feel quite myself
    I think I'm losing heart
    I'm sick and tired of all those words
    Voices in my head
    I think I have become
    Another suffering of my soul

    You ask me how I'm feeling
    Looking in my eyes
    Hearing only what you want to hear
    I'm holding my breath
    Holding my time
    I wish you knew how I was hurt

    I'm really scared of getting lost in real life
    So please stop asking me for more
    Let me get this straight
    Let me get this right
    I need a place to be alone

    I need a place to be
    I need a breath to take
    Don't wanna scream with my mouth shut
    It leads us nowhere
    Stop looking at me like that
    This is not what I had in mind

    I'm really scared of getting lost in real life
    So please stop asking me for more
    Let me get this straight
    Let me get this right
    I need a place to be alone

    Let me get this straight
    Let me get this right

    Let me go
    You've just helped to get me out of myself

OUT OF MYSELF

  • The Same River

    Part I (instrumental)

    Part II (instrumental)

    Part III (Again)

    /she/

    I stay... I swear... I am... I can...

    Please take a walk with me
    Let me know - Am I to blame?

    As you know
    I've always loved you and I know I will always love...

    Part IV (I am)

    I am your fear, hope
    I am your grief, joy
    I am your deed, word
    I am your hate, love

    I know... I can... Wanna stay...

  • Out Of Myself

    /he/

    I don't feel quite myself
    I think I'm losing heart
    I'm sick and tired of all those words
    Voices in my head
    I think I have become
    Another suffering of my soul

    You ask me how I'm feeling
    Looking in my eyes
    Hearing only what you want to hear
    I'm holding my breath
    Holding my time
    I wish you knew how I was hurt

    I'm really scared of getting lost in real life
    So please stop asking me for more
    Let me get this straight
    Let me get this right
    I need a place to be alone

    I need a place to be
    I need a breath to take
    Don't wanna scream with my mouth shut
    It leads us nowhere
    Stop looking at me like that
    This is not what I had in mind

    I'm really scared of getting lost in real life
    So please stop asking me for more
    Let me get this straight
    Let me get this right
    I need a place to be alone

    Let me get this straight
    Let me get this right

    Let me go
    You've just helped to get me out of myself

  • I Believe

    I learn to understand
    Getting harder to pretend is ok with me

    In this moment I believe
    And I want it so much
    In spite of everything

    You make me so real
    I don't have to shut myself in this cage of me
    I see what I haven't seen
    I wanna share my place to hide
    My place to feel
    With You

    In this moment I believe
    And I want it so much
    In spite of everything

    I learn to understand
    If only I was worth waiting for...

  • Loose Heart

    Raise me up
    Don't let me fall
    Cause I don't get myself
    I feel like I felt before
    But can't find my way

    All those feelings went away
    I may not be what you think I am
    Think we ought to find ourselves
    Think we ought to find ourselves
    Again...

    Raise me up
    Don't let me fall
    Cause it's getting so hard
    I feel like I felt before
    Maybe I only try?

    All those feelings went away
    I may not be what you think I am
    Think we ought to find ourselves
    Think we ought to find ourselves again
    All those questions never asked
    All those days are coming back to me now
    Dreams that can't be realised
    All those nights are coming back to me now
    And I know there're coming back to you

    Raise me up
    Raise me up, don't let me fall

  • In Two Minds

    Another day of talking
    And I'm in two minds
    I think I have to tell you
    I finally realised
    I know you'll never really get inside of me
    But I don't mean to hurt you
    Just let me disappear

    We used to like it
    Used to be
    In the sunset time of our dream
    For all these things we cannot change
    We cannot be
    We cannot stay

    But if you lose your faith
    Know that I am still your friend
    And if the sky falls down
    Know that I will still support you

  • The Curtain Falls

    I know what I'm really like...
    I'm bleeding...
    I don't mind...

    That was very foolish of me
    I can do nothing now

    Light shines in the darkness
    I don't wanna go
    Wish I could turn back time
    Oh my Guardian Angel
    Take me away from here
    I think I'm ready now
    But still can't make up my mind

    Memories of yesterday
    Hopes left behind
    I have to fade away now
    There's no other way out

    The curtain falls...

  • OK

    Need to stay right here
    I don't care if there is a better place
    I must try it myself
    Again
    My broken sleep will never be the same
    I'm only hanging on
    And waiting for another night

    There's sadness in my mind - ok
    There's darkness in my mind - ok

    What has come over me?
    Can't believe, but your tears leave me cold
    I'm walking through the dark
    Again
    And I am not afraid to be alone
    Anymore

    There's sadness in my mind - ok
    There's darkness in my mind - ok
    Thoughts echoing in my mind - ok
    Everything is gonna be...